CCE - Center for Coaching Excellence

by Annie Perdue-Olson

Our stress levels skyrocket by the competitive pull between our work life, family life, and personal life. If you feel this pull, you’re not alone – stress affects everyone. When our drive to achieve goes into overdrive, living an integrated life becomes a distant dream. The stressors mount and drive our choices and keep us stuck in this vicious over-achieving cycle.

When we perceive a threat – a conflict, a car cuts us off on the highway, unreasonable deadlines, a surprise phone call, an unexpected expense – our natural stress alarm system triggers and hormones are released to get us ready for fight or flight. Our bodies are designed to naturally rebalance, but our stress triggers happen so close together that our body doesn’t have time to return to normal.

Ever felt like you are living on Adrenaline? We need that quick jolt to manage our busy lives, but the addiction comes with consequences for our heart and sleeping patterns. What comfort foods do you crave under stress? Your body asks for high carbohydrate, easily digestible foods because Cortisol slows nonessential functions like digestion during stress.

To break the cycle we must create spaces in our life to activate our natural relaxation response:

Physical Space:  A little bit of physical activity goes a long way toward releasing some of those stress hormones. Getting sleep and eating right provides the fuel to manage those stress triggers. Breaking out the tool box and fixing things releases stress from our failed attempts at “fixing” people or relationships.

Emotional Space: Events in our life trigger all sorts of emotions – from small stressors to significant tragedies. Creating space to work through these emotions rebalances and refreshes us. Some people withdraw, read a book, or meditate. Some talk it out with others. Some work it out through exercise or hands-on activity. How about creative expression in art, music, or writing?

Relational Space:  Responding to the needs of people and projects draw us into relationships, but we also need spaces for relationships that nurture us. A coffee with a friend, starting a family tradition, partnering on a project, or getting involved in a social group all create relational space in our life.

Spiritual Space:  By practicing spiritual disciplines, reading, meditating, journaling, and personal reflection we can fill the deeper spiritual need that keeps us focused on the right stuff and prepared to meet the demands of life that tend to knock our spiritual compass off course.

At a recent session with a group of leaders, we explored different ways to activate our body’s natural relaxation response. The new ideas inspired the group to action. We can also be inspired to action by sharing with and learning from our on-line community. What are ways that you create space to induce that relaxation moment that refocuses you in life?