10 Steps to a Successful Confrontation

 

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Caring deeply . . .

speaking directly.

 

One of the core skills of coaching is the ability to speak clearly, articulately, and to use the language that will have the greatest positive impact on the client. You don't have to be a coach to communicate directly, even in tough conversations.

Let's begin with intent. No profitable conversation can occur without good intent and honest care for the other person. We must care first, then speak with skill. Now let's look at the elements of a skillful opening statement...which will be shared in one minute or less:

     1. Name the issue. Focus it down to the common theme.
     2. Offer a specific example. Current and succinct.
     3. Share your emotion. This makes it personal and makes you vulnerable.
     4. Describe what's at stake. Why is this important to them?
     5. Admit your contribution. Acknowledge your role in the issue.
     6. Reach for resolution. Speak your positive intent.
     7. Invite a response. This is the beginning of a conversation positioned for success.

The first 7 steps are just the setup. Craft this introduction with 1-2 sentences per point.

     8. Uncover their views. Inquire, clarify, paraphrase back until you understand.

Now you're ready for actual resolution:

     9. Define the learning. What has been uncovered? What remains to be said?

     10. Make an agreement. Create clear action steps with accountability.

For more on these ideas, refer to Fierce Confrontations, by Susan Scott.
 

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