Notice Character Qualities!
Have you ever been the recipient of a comment that caused you to take notice of a particular characteristic about yourself. Example: "Your determination is exemplary." Or, "Your thoughtfulness is noticed by those around you." Your response may have been "I guess I haven't given that much thought." Or, "Really, I guess I've never seen myself in that light." Responses like these are common. What makes this true?
We don't expect positive comments and observations. The world is conditioned to observe the negative because of what scientists call the brain's "negativity bias," and therefore many people notice the bad qualities in others rather than the good ones.
Endorsing is the opposite of negativity and is a recognition of consistent character qualities that are demonstrated. It is appreciating and extending a message of "I believe in you, have an outstanding opinion of you, and hold you in high regard."
When we notice a positive character quality and then communicate that observation, the person has the opportunity to embrace, believe, and internalize that quality. There is no doubt that interactions and experiences have a profound impact on our beliefs and the way we think. From one's thinking, a person can embrace a behavior and be consistent in demonstrating the characteristic.
Can you imagine the impact of endorsing–People living out what is true about themselves. More kindness, compassion, resourcefulness, wisdom–elements that make the world a better place.
As coaches we can contribute to a person's beliefs, be instrumental in replacing a false belief with accurate belief, which then influences one's behavior.
Here is sample list of qualities that you can include in applying the skill of endorsing:
How to endorse:
Sam, You consistently exhibit patience in challenging situations.
Melanie, you step up with creative initiative when something needs to be completed.
Your decisiveness helps our team focus and stay on track.
- Be intentionally observant for character qualities
- Communicate that observation
- Celebrate for a moment that you added to someone's belief that in turn, possibly changed a mindset, and enforced a character quality