Journalist and innovation expert Warren Berger, author of A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas, reminds us that one of the most powerful forces for igniting change in business—and in life—is a simple, underappreciated tool we’ve had since childhood:
Questioning—deeply, imaginatively, beautifully.
The right questions help us identify and solve problems, spark innovation, and uncover fresh opportunities. But how we question is just as important as what we ask.
Questions can invite curiosity and collaboration—or they can unintentionally trigger defensiveness and shut down dialogue.
So, what kinds of questions should we avoid?
Based on Berger’s conversations with David Cooperrider, pioneer of Appreciative Inquiry at Case Western Reserve University, and several leadership experts, here are four common questions leaders ask that often backfire—along with more effective ways to engage others.
1. “What’s the problem?”
Leaders often begin meetings by asking some version of this question:
What’s the problem? What’s going wrong? What’s broken?
According to Cooperrider, this “problem-first” mindset dominates nearly 80% of management meetings. The result? Teams fixate on weaknesses rather than strengths.
Instead, reframe the inquiry:
-
What are we doing well—and how can we build on that?
-
What’s the ideal outcome, and how do we get closer to it?
As Cooperrider puts it, “We live in the world our questions create.”
Questions rooted in strengths and possibility generate momentum and optimism.
2. “Whose fault is it?”
This question redirects energy toward blame instead of growth. As Keith Yamashita of SY Partners notes, leaders who ask about fault often do so to shift attention away from themselves.
A better approach?
-
How can we work together to strengthen any weak spots?
-
What can we learn from what happened?
This shifts the focus from who caused the issue to how the team can improve and grow collectively.
3. “Why don’t you do it this way?”
It may sound like a suggestion, but when it comes from a leader, it often lands as control.
Leadership expert Mary Jo Asmus of Aspire Collaborative Services calls this a “stealth form of control.” It signals distrust and discourages ownership.
A more empowering alternative:
-
How were you thinking of approaching this?
-
What ideas do you have in mind?
When leaders trust their people to think creatively, they build engagement, competence, and confidence.
4. “Haven’t we tried this already?”
This question may appear logical, but it can sound dismissive or defeatist.
Phil Kessler, a former chair at Vistage International, notes that such phrasing implies, “If it didn’t work once, it will never work.”
Instead, ask:
-
If we tried this now, what would be different?
-
What conditions have changed that might make success possible this time?
This opens the door to fresh thinking and acknowledges that timing, context, or execution—not the idea itself—may have been the barrier before.
The Art of Asking Better Questions
Beyond these examples, Berger highlights a few guiding principles shared by other leadership experts:
-
Ask from curiosity, not control. As Tim Ogilvie of Peer Insight notes, questions should come from a spirit of inquiry, not advocacy.
-
Avoid a parental tone. As Kessler reminds us, questions that sound like a parent scolding a child shut down engagement.
-
And finally, as Dan Rockwell of Leadership Freak wisely says: “Never ask a question if you don’t want an answer.”
Your Takeaway
The questions you ask shape the culture you create—at work, at home, and in every relationship.
They can either shut people down or draw them in.
They can diminish or empower.
So ask yourself:
What kind of conversations do my questions create?
When you master the art of asking beautiful questions, you open the door to collaboration, creativity, and meaningful change.